I haven’t blogged for a while, and I’ve realized it’s because I forgot an important point from one of my earliest posts: it’s the little moments that matter the most.
See, I’ve been thinking way too hard about writing some profound post that will make a difference to another mom, when really I’m losing sight of why I started this blog in the first place.
So, here’s a round up of a couple sweet moments from the recent past.
Last night, as we do every night, Cub and I were reading books in his room before bedtime. At one point, he pointed to his lamp repeatedly. He got quite upset until I figured out that in fact he wanted me to turn it off so he could nurse and go to sleep. So smart, funny, and sweet! I love peaceful and smooth bedtimes. Knock on wood, but we’ve had many lately. There’s little I love more than the quiet as he nurses and drifts off to sleep. Those cuddles are precious, and I will miss them one day.
Last week, we spent a night in a hotel. My poor little man wasn’t feeling well, but we still managed to get in a swim at the pool. He enjoyed scooting down the steps of the hot tub into the water and then climbing back up again. By far his favourite thing to do was play in a little waterfall area that joined the kiddie to the deep pool. And as always, he laughed as he jumped off the side into my arms and the water.
Because he wasn’t feeling well, there were lots of snuggles, and unexpectedly to me, he fell asleep just by me cuddling him against me, absent-mindedly patting his back as I watched TV and chatted with my husband, APB. It was a definite sign he wasn’t feeling himself, as he rarely falls asleep this way. Sure enough, that night was rough, as was much of that week, as he and I both battled a bug.
I’ll just add a story a friend told me the other day. Like me, she normally nurses her little guy to sleep, but the other day he fell asleep as she had her hand on him and sang him a lullaby. I was touched she messaged me to tell me this – but she knew I would get why it brought her to tears. Such a poignant moment…a reminder that our babies do grow up and eventually they won’t need us as much as they did yesterday, a few days, weeks or months ago. It’s also a reminder to other mamas that you aren’t creating bad habits by nursing your baby to sleep because s/he will outgrow it when s/he is ready. My friend cried tears of pride and sadness, and I totally get that. It’s how I would feel, too.
There are still those days where I dig my fingernails into my hand when I can’t figure out what my toddler is trying to communicate, but if I stop and think about it, there are far more precious moments to cherish than moments to be frustrated over: even when he was kicking me in the face and throat while nursing the other night. I can choose to be annoyed or I can choose to laugh. It’s better to laugh, and if I pretend to take a bite out of his foot, he giggles, which is the sweetest sound. Plus he’s gazing into my eyes as he laughs. Oh, my heart….
Those moments are what I choose to focus and hold on to – not to deny the tough parts but to take joy in the little moments that all add up to a big, wonderful moment of being a mom.